Jar of Hearts

Cute

Humming Bird

Humble, proud, so serious, self-accepting and assured

Am I so deprived of your quality's? You seem so rare that it's absurd.

You could make my heart beat like the wings of a hummingbird

So much emotion, so much passion, our ideals of love got blurred.

A hundred reasons to forget you, a hundred to refuse

But somehow, in this moment, you have become my muse

Your eyes remind me of your dreams, they are the colour of the sky.

And in my mind they're planted long after you said goodbye.

In fact your on my mind morning until night, the devil in disguise

I tried to conceal or defeat my mind, but my logic went awry.

A thousand reasons to forget you, a thousand to refuse

But you caught me, and now you're torture, and I'm regretfully seduced

I liked it when you were loving, gentle, caring, sweet

And how, like me, you made it all so personal and discreet.

But I felt your feelings were doubting, that under your smile hid deceit

And now I'm just a heartbroken girl, falling at your feet.

A million reasons to forget you, A million to refuse

I know it, god damn it! I can't reach you, I'm always going to lose

I know I've seen the real you, the part you show the least

The drive, in your eyes, I've seen so much light, I wish you could release!

I wish you could believe again, in the angel and the beast

But you've given up your love, your dream's, for society's beliefs.  

I pretend that I forgive you, say I understand, but I know there's just no use

There's a billion reasons to forget you, and a billion to refuse

Harlequin

To colour or not to colour? can't decide!

At work :)

Stop the stigma

Bipolar + Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness

Stop the Stigma

I Hope it will help some of you when explaining your illness to others

Dear husband, wife, brother, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, son, daughter and friend. I thought I would write you a story about dealing with mental illness. A few words to explain. We have been diagnosed with an invisible disorder. It is something you cannot see, it is something that you cannot understand if you do not have it yourself. But we love you in the same way that we wish for you to love us back. So we hope that you will  try to understand a little bit better by educating yourself about our illness.

We are often so lost. Sometime in our past a doctor told us that we have disorder. At first we did not know what it was. Then we read about it, our doctors told us more about it and how it's a chemical imbalance of our brain and that medicine helps to regulate it (just as a diabetic patient would use) and we joined support groups. By now we know a lot about it, but is does not make it better. There is no cure for this illness but there is plenty of help out there. We just need a little extra patience and a little more understanding.

Sometimes we get a depression that is so overwhelming that it feels as if someone laid a ton of bricks on our chests. We can’t breathe, we can not think straight everything just feels hopeless. We get severe anxiety. Sometimes we cannot face food, we cannot face anything but the wall. We sleep a lot or not at all. Then, some of us drink, or take drugs, self medicating in an attempt to make the pain a little bit better.

Some of us take medication. Sometimes it works and we can maintain stability. Sometimes it makes you feel like you want to die. Some medications give you nightmares, others make you sweat, others causes ticks and spasms in your face and hands. Some medications makes you nauseous, gain weight, others takes away your desire for love making. Some of us cannot afford medication and have to face the repercussions.

Sometimes we are manic and reckless. Over talkative, little if any sleep and we do things that we later regret, but we do not have control over it. Sometimes we get so angry that it borders on rage, at what will seem for no reason at all. Sometimes we are terrified you will leave us so we say stupid thing's. Sometime's we feel that were not quite good enough. But then we then feel guilty for the anger, the paranoia, the accusations, the impulsive behaviour which can lead to you wanting to give up on us and leave. Please know 9/10 times these feeling have nothing to do with you or anything you have done. It is the chemical imbalance that make's us feel like this, and we are sorry for that.

Sometimes we feel so lost and sad. We get so depressed all we want to do is sleep. Misinterpreting this and thinking we are lazy can  make it worse.  Sometimes we wish that we could just be ok, just function like every one else. But we cannot. We are the way we are and the only thing that makes it better is our fight and your support your love and your care.

Please don't take this illness for weakness, we can deal with everything life throw's at us, treating us like a china doll will not help the situation. Please trust in us, believe in our strength. Do not hide thing's from us in fear that we will not be able to cope. We are probably more equipped than most to deal with hard situations. We are human being's just like you and were stronger than you might think. We want above all to be treated as normal. We have an illness we are not our illness.

So this is to say thank you to all of you that deal with us every day. We know that we are not easy people to deal with . We know that we often hurt and make it difficult and for that we are sorry. But we want to tell you that we also love you so much and we would not be able to cope with this life if it was not for you and your wonderful love and care.

So to all of you. Thank you ♥

Addiction

A shot to kill the pain

A pill to hide the shame

A purge to stop the gain

A cut to break the vein

A smoke to ease the crave

A drink to fuel the flame

An addictions an addiction 

Because it always hurts the same 

Ed

Edward Scissor Hands 

 Started this like a year ago and finally finished it :) Done in Coloured Pencils. Really wish I had a better camera! 

Dio de los muertos

" People fear death more than they fear pain.
It's strange that they fear death.
Life hurts a lot more than death,
At the point of death, the pain is over "
                                                                                                   (Jim morrison)

Time Eternal

Time is to slow for those who wait,

To swift for those that fear,

To long for those who grieve,

To short for those that rejoice, 

But for those who love.... Time is eternity 

♥

♥

Supremacy

 Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark.

In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet and the not at all.

Do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration,

For the life you deserved but have never been able to reach.

The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real,

 It is possible. It is yours. 

To Be Loved

"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn.

Is Just To Love, And Be Loved In Return"

Fight club

Breathe ♥

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.

That I've come to believe my souls on the other side.

Oh the little pieces falling, shatter.

Shards of me,

To sharp to put back together.

To small to matter,

But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.

If I try to touch her,

And I bleed,

And I breathe,

I breathe no more. 

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.

Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.

Lie to me,

Convince me that I've been sick forever.

And all of this,

Will make sense when I get better.

I know the difference,

Between myself and my reflection.

I just can't help but to wonder,

Which of us do you love.

So I bleed,

I bleed,

And I breathe,

I breathe no more

                                       ( Amy Lee ) 

Fly

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back it was meant to be. If they continue to fly let them soar, and have faith that God has something better in store"

                                                                                    (Richard Bach)

Faith

(John) Verse 14:27

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid"

Mad as a hatter

 " Sometimes I've believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast "

Road To Hell

The road to hell is paved with good intentions 

 " Omnes relinquite spes, o vos intrantes "
" Abandon all hope, ye who enter here "

Black swan

" Come dance with me

My pale memory's

Sing my last symphony " 

Marilyn

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together” 

The crow

'' A building gets torched, all that is left is ashes. I used to think that was true about everything, families, friends, feelings. But now I know, that sometimes if love proves real, two people who are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ''

Wilde

" Keep Love in your heart

A life without it

Is like a sunless garden

When all the flowers are dead "

                                           (Oscar Wilde)

Dreams

If I could only

have you in my dreams

I would wish 

To sleep forever

Serenity

A little about me

I still believe in fairy tales, true love and romance. Reactions are priceless, age is a myth. I believe that we don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. I love nature, the simple truth of it's beauty.  I despise lies, I live by honesty, doing to others as I would have done to myself. Unfortunately the majority of this world doesn't know or has not been taught that. Or maybe they just don't care. The human race never cease's to amaze me, and then in the next turn in the road completely crush my spirit to the point where my heart mourns and aches. I believe trust is earned not given, and words are just that - words. Actions are the key, hence ''your actions speak louder than words'' I believe the eyes are the windows to the soul, if the stare is broken, the soul is hiding. I have made many mistakes along the way, and I'm sure I will make more. But I have learned from my mistakes, and I have learned to apologise for them and to the ones I have affected. Everyone deserve's a second chance. Friendships and love is not about what that person can do for you , but what you can do for that person. Love is unconditional. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty is not superficial. Some of the most beautiful looking people I've met on this earth are the ugliest. I believe in soul mates, that one person who truly understands you. The one you'll do anything for. Your lover and your best friend.

What we have done for ourselves dies with us, what we do for others is and remains immortal.